Now a NEW YORK TIMES best seller!
Empty bladder before reading. -Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of We Thought You Would Be Prettier.PUBLISHERS WEEKLY: This sincere, laugh-out-loud confessional from Turner candidly reveals and revels in the flaws and dysfunctions of the author and her family. From family problems, breastfeeding, her experiments with pot in Mexico, and lessons learned in Russia while majoring in vodka, Turner is not afraid to voice her private thoughts and never takes herself too seriously... refreshingly honest.This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store chronicles what happens when a little girl who scorns the idea of marriage and children (in favor of becoming a stiletto-wearing, attache-carrying Secret Agent), majors in Russian, minors in Vodka, and then one day finds herself with child… and in-laws.Reading This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store is like going to your neighbors house for a play date and discovering that shes just as clueless and crazy as you are. -Stacy Dymalski, Confessions of a Band Geek MomA.K. Turners witty essays explore the raw realities of raising children so they wont become serial killers, showing that its okay to put the little darlings to bed and then guzzle a bottle of hooch. This is the perfect cross between Nora Ephron, David Sedaris and Chelsea Handler. -Elaine Ambrose, Menopause SucksFrom The Quivering Pen: This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store by A. K. Turner (Fever Streak Press): Did Erma Bombeck ever guzzle vodka? If she did, she might have come close to the ribald domestic humor in Turners momoir This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store. The subtitle of the book is Unapologetic Admissions from a Non-Contender for Mother of the Year and Turner pulls few punches in her self-deprecating descriptions of life as an unexpected parent. Scan the chapter titles and youll get an idea of whats waiting for you inside: Do as I Say, Not as I Do and Im Not Having Twins, Bitch, for example.